Monday, August 19, 2013

Forgetting your name

I heard someone I truly respect saying that we, modern people, especially from, so called, first world, tend to be very self-centered and pay too much attention to social services and etc. He also said that we become very easily frustrated when somebody forgets our name, or spells it incorrectly. I listened to him and then said I didn't agree, because it is natural for a person to be conscious about its name and want others to remember it correctly. If somebody forgets your name or doesn't bother itself to spell it properly, it means that person is inattentive, shallow and above all, doesn't care about you enough to bother oneself and memorise the name, I said.

The other day Ezra and I went grocery shopping and ran into a very lovely girl. She's not exactly friend of mine or anything, but she's one of the few people I hug. I mean, Germany is not very hugging country, even people who emigrated here have become (or essentially were) icy cold and which hugging you ask for, when they even forget to greet you. You know, it is nice to hug friends and be hugged too. This girl has always been different - very polite and kind. We know her family and been invited for dinner once too, and I felt quite close to them -- lovely people.
Anyhow, we saw her at the supermarket and went to greet her. We talked about this and that, then her phone called, it was another mutual friend of ours, who happened to be there too and wanted to join us. Sure, this girl said, we'll wait for you. Apparently, the person on the other line asked, who were "we", because my friend hesitated and blushed, couldn't answer immediately and turned to me, asking what was my name. She then apologised thousand times, she said it was because we hardly see each other and she didn't know how could she forget my name.

I remember back in school I had a really nice teacher, but she called me Sofia all the time. It used to upset me really, I tried to explain her politely it was Sophie, but she never seemed to hear. So I started to dislike her even though she was always nice to me and I even liked talking to her about different subjects.


Now suddenly I was happy. I know, this is crazy, but it was like illumination for me, seriously -- because I experienced exactly same what my friend was talking about the other day. I realised I didn't mind much someone forgetting my name, not because I am so humble that didn't think of myself important (no I am selfish enough, trust me), but I thought I shouldn't judge people in any case. You never know reasons - she might have been tired, or sick or anything, or we really don't see each other that often so she could have my name in her head all the time.

Well, mostly I felt happy because I sort of fought over my conscious self, didn't get upset and assured her it was all right while sometimes we even forget our own names, let alone others'. Don't we? ;)


Flamenli said...

Nice new perspective on names.
Thank you, Soph =)

Sophie שרה Golden said...

Thanks, Katja. Miss you!!!

Talia said...

I have to say, I am always so nervous when I forget someone's name. And it's nothing personal either, just something I... forget!

And I'm with you - I'm not super offended if people don't remember my name. Though I guess it is a bit annoying when people pronounce my name wrong. Even then, if they've only ever read it, I don't hold it against them. No way! Only if I have told them the correct pronunciation and they say it wrong anyway. I would rather they just asked!

Sophie Sunny Golden said...

Talia, I understand. Although I am really good at names :D I love names in general and memorise them very easily. Sometimes I remember such strangers' names, whom I'll never meet again in my life or have only met once in my childhood.

Pronunciation is harder though, you're right, especially if you've only read the name. I have a friend named Talya, who pronounces her name differently than you, so before meeting you, I saw a video, where Luke called you and realised your name "sounded" differently :)